The necessity to prepare for failure and continue being a cheerful reminder has been tough, tough, tough! Also if anyone finds Cinderella’s Godmother’s wand , will they please not be selfish and grant it for a minute or two?! (It’s probably in Atlantis somewhere, anyway!)
What I’ve had to keep plastered in the forefront of my mind:
The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days : while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children.”
I have been shocked to see how difficult it has been to abide by a simple written list! I wish I could tell you that three weeks has been all it’s taken to nail this down. Did I say I would be honest? Dang! Here’s the low down. Not even one time has the list been followed 100%. Not once. It’s come close, but always one or two things wanting. Tomorrow morning I am planning on NOT expectantly peeking in to see everything done but to be ready to appreciate what has BEEN done and smilingly indicate the pending . I trust I did mention the part about ‘smilingly’ indicating what’s wanting?
On the positive side, the children have started to feel nice about falling asleep in an orderly room and are embarrassed when their rooms are not presentable (which is a lot better than – “looks fine to me.”) They are amazed to find it actually is possible to find what they need when they want it!
We are a bit sentimental about scattered toys and faded nosegays, and all the tokens of the children’s presence; but the fact is, that the lawless habit of scattering should not be allowed to grow upon children. Everybody condemns the mother of a family whose drawers are chaotic , whose possessions are flung about heedlessly; but at least some of the blame should be carried back to her mother. It is not as a woman that she had picked up a miserable habit which destroys the comfort, if not the happiness of her home; the habit of disorder was allowed to grow upon her as a child, and her share of the blame is, that she has failed to cure herself.”
I hope that I can truly help my children avoid the above predicament and in the process ease mine. Only God grant me patience and kindness as we work towards this goal!
*(All italicized words in this post are quotes from Charlotte Mason’s Home Education Series, Part III, Habit Is Ten Natures)
I’ve read your most recent posts about cultivating good habits and it made me smile bc I’ve “been there, done that,” too. About 2-3 years ago, I was turning into a nagging mom (I would probably have died if I could have seen my face as I was giving out “instructions” to Sam). Each morning, I would “remind” Sam to do “your upstairs stuff” [i.e., wash face (yes with boys you may have to add this to your list!), make your bed, straighten your room, etc.] and my blood pressure was sky rocketing & I was always annoyed with him. So I called my own personal homeschool mom example (a great friend who has raised/homeschooled 4 boys & 2 girls with great results). She encouraged me not to give up. . . but to show Sam, hand over hand, (again) what I wanted, make a small “to do” list for him, and not to say too much. It took some time but now I can say at age 15 I NEVER have to remind him to do any of those items. His room looks neat (reasonable so anyway) and he asks ME when he can do his laundry (never have to remind him). My friend’s words were true, “Carrie, somehow they get from us having to scream at them to make their beds. . . to becoming good husbands and providers. It’s going be okay.” And it was (is — we’re still in training, aren’t we?).
With you and Adam doing this, your children are going to learn discipline & good habits. . . . you sound like a wonderful mom.
It’s the ‘been there done that’ vets that give the most hope!
That is pretty, darn amazing that you have a 15 year old son who is able to do his own basic maintenance and do it well!! It’s such a misconception that a teen HAS to be messy and disorganized! I guess it pays to stay consistent in helping our children gain mastery in these areas of good habits. Just this one month of persistence and follow up, and I already see a difference. It is so nice to not come home to a trashed zone and to wake up to order. Thanks for sharing this, it makes me believe that your reality is a definite possibility!
Hey! I did want you to know that we are working on the night time bathroom routine & cleanup — the bathroom looks like a gym locker room by the time he’s done. . . so we DEFINITELY have much work left to do! ha!
I suppose there’s always something to work on! Lol!!
Seriously!! Doesn’t the Bible say, “Let patience have her perfect work…” ? Oddly enough the children did everything on their list two days in a row without any prodding. Well, what do you know? There is hope!
Hey those thoughts would mean a lot to the kids. .that my mom has appreciated the little I have done and then want to do mre.its a great challenge to raise kids and I am praying for all u moms.Love you.
Thanks, Treas! Could definitely use all the prayer possible!!
Love it! Someone did once say that patience is a virtue. Dang, how it takes patience to grow in it! 🙂