Should There Be Child Free Travel?

Although I am a parent, I find myself increasingly sympathetic for travel alternatives for childless passengers!  Having said that, let me also add, that it is even more tragic that all children be clumped in the same Neanderthal lot.  Let it be pointed out that some children do behave as true persons that bring respect to the human race.

Having boarded the bus that would take us to the airplane, a family followed.  The father holding his precious monkey and the mother trundling close behind like a dutiful beast of burden, laden with a baby bag that should have assuredly been checked in.  They crowded in right by the door.

The offspring demanded his mother’s attention in shrill tones at a high volume that would have stunned anyone, doubly so to realize that the person of this voluminous address was not 200 meters away (as might be suspected by the output) but mere centimeters from the human loud speaker.  He refused to let her hold onto the grab handle above, “Mine, mine!”  He screamed in the same high-pitched decibel that threatened to permanently put an end to all tympana’s present.  The father said nothing.  He looked around somewhat disinterested and somewhat curious to see if fellow bus riders were amused by the show (He certainly received no encouragement from me).  The child despot refused his swaying mother a handhold.  He pried her fingers from the handle.  “No!” he bellowed.  The mother held on helplessly to her husband’s coat tails while struggling to maintain her balance, smiling apologetically while consoling her son that she would on no account trespass, didn’t baby know? Of course the handles belonged to him.  As the bus started, a cruel thought did (I confess) cross my mind in relation to a sudden brake and lurch…I instantly rectified the thought and tried to revert to a more Christian mind set. This followed with a plea for forgiveness and mercy – that my seat would not be in near proximity!

Mercy was granted.  I feel deeply for the poor soul who was traumatized to the closest seat, but let it be known, the ENTIRE aircraft was victimized!  All were subjected to the constant howls – to have his stubborn, mindless way seconded with the shrill, triumphant cries of victory that would have made the toughest pirate tremble.  Why would a pair of grown people allow their child to morph into this cataclysmic dread?  Seriously, would parents want others to shrink back in fear and desperately rally their souls to face a mere child?

Babies I understand.  Even then a wise mother knows what to do.  There is a method to be employed.  There is the wise foreseeing of the dirty diaper, the hunger, the exhaustion – all can be handled with courtesy and control.  Teach a child the pleasure of travel and civility to other passengers.  Jumping violently in a chair (or on any surface save a trampoline), kicking the seat in front, running as for the Olympic 100 meters in a confined  space, screaming, wailing, displaying behavioral traits that would cause the wildest animals offense, only reveals a severe want in training.  Obviously these creatures have been deprived the privilege of discipline and learning.  They have not been taught how to communicate their thoughts in moderate tones that do not cause auditory damage.  In general, they are reared a public nuisance.

Although seated ten rows ahead of the perpetually screaming child (who showed no signs of abating even after we landed), I was allowed no respite.  The adult beside me called for the stewardess approximately eleven times every ten minutes.  Her distress was visible, poor thing!  He stretched so far and so wide that his hands wagged in the face of the person behind, his knees were uncomfortably close to mine, he then loudly belched.  I was stifling my shock when to my horror, all jokes aside, he began to viciously embark on an oral manicure (it was a nail biting experience for all present).  Thereon, the assault proceeded to the ear canal, which was duly ploughed and thereafter to the other orifices.  In that instant, the realization dawned on me.  The adult beside me was a perfect picture of what the audible minor (who continued to make himself heard) was to be.  Here indeed was the future specimen.  No decorum, no regard or thought for anyone beside himself.  The father of the ear-shattering being only mirrored his own upbringing; and sorry to say, I had little respect for the mother who could command none for herself.  The adult was not ranting but his behavior was such, it was point blank offensive.  Just like the child’s.

Such parenting blackens the joyous world of child rearing.  No doubt there are burdensome moments – especially when little boys have huge resources of energy, BUT there is always a way to employ and channel that (usually to the parents’ sacrifice).  Little Johnny and Sue can be taught to communicate their woes and needs in an acceptable manner and method.

No, my children are not perfect, but I do not dread traveling with them.  In fact, especially now that they are past five, I actually enjoy it.  Of course, I have been embarrassed in public with a few unwanted meltdowns, but I have not ignored their behavior or condoned it. Children will be children.  As adults, we need to teach them HOW to behave.  What is acceptable and what is not.  To let them get away with inappropriate behavior in private will set us up for huge embarrassments in public.  Even a baby can be lovingly taught to respond to “Shhh” and “No.”

I object that all children are a pain.  They undoubtedly call for work, but they absolutely can be taught that the entire world does NOT revolve around them, that bus handles are public property, that mother deserves high honor, that others are present and must be respected, that human bodies (parents or otherwise) are not jungle gyms to twist onto – particularly outside bedroom and park parameters.  Of course, the fault lies with the parents, the supposed care takers who shirk their duties and allow the little monsters to rear themselves as they see fit.  Let it then be proposed that these are the sort of travelers who should be condemned to travel together so they can collectively reap the harvest of their non-efforts while the rest of us travel in mutual respect and comfort.

All in favor say, “aye.”