Learning from the wise

“Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and diligence.” 

Abigail Adams in a letter to John Quincy Adams

Most of my close friends, with whom I have shared most of what I’ve learned, know that I have often longed to learn more, to be trained by the more experienced Charlotte Mason-ers. I came close to attending some sessions by Catherine Levison but it didn’t happen and have looked longingly at the training and internships that Ambleside Schools International (ASI) offer. However, because we visit the US only once in two years and usually in the summer – most of those sessions are over by then!

As a home schooling mother, I want to be sure I am doing this right, particularly the Charlotte Mason way.

I think sometimes we have secret fears. Are we doing this right? And maybe we are afraid to find out that we are doing it wrong. I for one, want to find out now. If I’m doing it right, then I want to learn to do it better and if I’m doing something wrong, I want to fix it now, while I can.

I wrote to Ambleside Schools and long story short, the St. Cyr’s very graciously made time to meet with me.

They answered some of the questions that were foremost in my mind and adressed some of the immediate struggles that I was facing. I so want to know how to motivate my children to want to learn; to enjoy homeschool every day, all the time. (Not baulk or be dragging their feet; even though this was not a constant feature, that it should crop up at all was disturbing to me. Was I doing something wrong?)

The reason I homeschool is to give my children the best, purest, safest education possible. Charlotte Mason’s approach to education as a whole rather than in fragmented sections, her understanding of education being an atmosphere, a joy, a gentle experience is not a consistent reality and this was starting to upset me.  By educating them at home, the last thing I want  is to do them a disservice so  that they fall short of their potential and end up with a cramped, basic knowledge instead of a full, inspired education.

First, let me say that Bill and Maryellen St. Cyr are not only extremely qualified educators but they also make a very handsome couple and are so very well spoken!  They exude not just confidence but an innate encouragement and kindness that is immediately comforting and challenging.

My sister and her daughter accompanied me. The St. Cyrs made us feel comfortable (after the fact that we were hideously late!) They never for one minute made us feel like they were put out – although let me tell you, we really did put them out – DC traffic can take some of the blame, a misleading GPS and my mother’s departure for India, but still!  Their graciousness  moved them up even higher in my estimation!

I feel like I owe it to my homeschooling friends and supporters to share a little of the treasure I gathered in that hour and fifteen minutes. I cannot share it all. So much was spoken to my heart but I will share some of it because I know that all of us have struggles that are real to us and we all can do with encouragement and guidance. Here is some of it, paraphrased, but what I gleaned in essence.

Performance orientation will kill true inspiration and learning. So focused am I on the material, the list,the curriculum, the text, the work, the performance, that I have missed out on communicating ideas, missed out on making the connections with fields of knowledge. It is possible that I am fostering the minimalist in my children.  That is, just getting them to do what has to be done – at the minimal, because I, the teacher, am not lifting their eyes to the greater. The one who sets the standard is I. I need to set the parameters. Not the children. I need to give them the high standard they can attain (and prosper in, if I may so add).

Regarding resistance:
O my, this truth came down hard and true and found it’s mark.

The anxiety spike! Any time anxiety kicks in, I am not a safe, dependable person. I need to move away from Anxiety Encounters to a High Joy Mode. Children pick up on anxiety and they pick up on joy. Let THEM challenge and assess themselves. All I need to do is get alongside them  -“get in the trenches with them”. Instead of “Why aren’t you getting this?”  “Can you not understand?”; it should be “This is normal”. “Does this make sense to you?”  “How can I help you?” And letting them totally be aware of the fact that I am not anxious about the situation.  How true it is that all failure,  stress and resistance can be traced back to anxiety! As Bill spoke, I could almost hear Christ saying, “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, let your requests be known unto God.”

After Bill and Maryellen left, I sat for a while and my dear sister let me have a little silence, go over my thoughts, cry a little and quietly meditate on the truths I had heard. It is one thing to read and learn but when you come in contact with someone who has been there, done that ( and I’m talking about a wealth of experience and expertise), been in the trenches and is sharing a life changing truth, it has an amazing impact. For one, you’re listening, seeing and feeling a great deal more than black and white. Not to say that the written page cannot be powerful – I am a firm believer in it’s slicing, wielding, life changing power; but person to person, face to face, heart to heart – is amazing!

I am excited to share that this year I will be mentored by ASI. I cannot even begin to tell you how eager I am to be mentored, held accountable and yes, monitored! I want to learn and so make learning  and teaching a joyous experience for both my children and I, respectively. I know that my God, whose yoke is easy and burden is light, will want me to be like Him. I pray I may be faithful and that what I learn may in small token bless and help those of you who are fellow-mom-teachers. I covet every prayer and harness every effort to that end!

I will keep you posted in my learning journey.  My Charlotte Mason journey led me to wonderful guides and I am looking forward to all that lies in the path ahead, only may I be found faithful in ardor and diligence.